HAPPY New Year 2008 and Beyond!
Wishing you a "HAPPY" New Year: This caused me to pause and think about what causes the state of happiness in the first place. So a few of my musings are offered.
Science of happiness? Meaning is the key: I’m a co-owner in a publishing and event start-up; PowerThink Publishing, LLC. It’s taken two years, no income generated, but I have never been happier in my chosen profession. See, being “happy” is all about a bottom line in life. For me that bottom line is found in living a meaning-filled life. Creating uplifting literature is a challenge, and to touch another person through it, drives me and is directly linked to my "personal meaning" in life.
There is a science to being happy: A state of happiness exists when we are engaged in that which we value most. “Meaning” gives purpose and energy to our values. Our highest "motives" are derived from our highest "meanings." Motives drive action, and so... you are focused and happily engaged on that which matters most if you make "meaning" and "purpose" the key to your activities. For example, I have a belief system governed by a set of moral guidelines. These guidelines are influenced by what I have come to believe are true and meaningful principles. I've tested them over time. I am satisfied that they work for me. When I obey the principles, governing my personal conduct, I am happy. So it is with those governing my work; I am most happy then... When I follow the guidelines for the work I love doing, positive results occur. When I treat others as I like to be treated I am happy. When I live and love within "meanings" I really believe in, being HAPPY results. Establish meaning, establish happiness and satisfaction...
I have put to paper a personal "meaning and purpose statement" for all the important areas of life: relationships, social behavior, civic beliefs, parenting, spirituality, marriage, service, profession, education, etc. What makes me happy, might not do the same for you. That is because, whether written or not, our individual "meanings" and "purposes" are so strong within us, and customized to our personalities, that we either flow with them or fight them. Nurtured over time our personal likes and dislikes also add to a mental paradigm of what is meaningful to us. Add to that habits. Some people find habits hard to balance, break or otherwise prune as a gardener might on overgrown shrub.
Such habits or compulsive behaviors cultivated in socializing, substance over-use, or just playing, creating wealth, working a profession, a relationship, and so on, may hold the highest present meaning in life. Like a comfort zone, we tend to gravitate back to whatever feels safe and useful to us at the time. The expectation is, of course, that what holds meaning to me, good or bad, if I engage in it more, will make me happy. Pleasure and happiness get confused: There is nothing wrong with pleasure, as long as it isn't the end game. Remember the kind of seed you plant determines the kind of fruit you pick. Good... or bad. More on that as I continue.
Money = Happiness? This is a big one for all of us. Money is necessary and can do much good. In fact your purchase of Internet service enables you to read this, and your earnings often go to buy a good book (thank you!) or other recreation and pleasurable pursuit. But is money the thing that generates or purchases happiness? It helps to illustrate. I mentioned earlier working on building my company, PowerThink Publishing, and not earning anything from it over two years... (And by the way, to make it even more of a challenge, there have been no reserves to work from. Just reputation, a computer and some office space.)
Question: What about the money then? The money I haven’t earned over two years? You might ask, “How can Pratt claim to be so happy if he is building a dream without money?”
Answer: I know that what I am working on builds more value than I could be paid for. In fact, I will be paid, and handsomely so. I am working under the principle of “deferred compensation” which means I understand that for others to value my work and pay me for it, it had better be well-invested in by myself first, and please them second.
Besides, I have a track record of living like this and understand intuitively how valuable money could be during my
creative work process, yet also how valuable my work under pecuniary strain makes compensation when it finally arrives. (I know... sounds
weird, but temporary insanity is often a companion to those of us welded to this happy writing life. If I am delusional about my happiness, please "do not disturb.")
Working for others makes me happy: The entire process of
targeting my audience, seeing in my mind’s eye who they are and
what they want, makes me happy. What I get paid, may be great or small, but with persistent work in the inspiration and self-improvement field I become a better man, others become better people, and the rewards finally include monetary benefits, flowing in to sustain us in a current of creative and meaning-filled energy.
I believe happiness, in degrees, can be automatically induced, every time we attach a valued “meaning” to what we are doing. Ask people who value serving others how they feel after coming back from a project to help someone, whether near or far across the seas. They spent money. They expended great energy. They never lacked for inconvenience, and they probably enjoyed no common luxuries while engaged. Some got so sick physically that they thought they
couldn't take anymore, (I prayed, “God just take me,” three times over two years in South America from absolute physical illness and misery) yet at the end of the adventure ask him or her “How do you feel?” I know how I felt.
“Happy” is the first emotion expressed. Why? Because in that person’s life they were engaged in something deeply meaningful to them. They connected with the ancient wisdom of their soul and through their hearts worked selflessly to love others. Pleasurable, this euphoric feeling of accomplishment is anyone’s for the “doing,” and...it is REAL.
Guess what – science will also confirm, that pleasure causing and immune system building chemicals are released in high doses into your nervous system when you are engaged in service, giving, loving others, getting outside of yourself, and that area of life which gives you the most meaning!
Yes! Pleasure is chemically induced, and
your personal “meaning” has everything to do with it. Being a mother—what woman has not found an inexplicable joy at nurturing her child from the womb through life. So much meaning is attached to that child that a mother will sacrifice almost anything, including her life, for the welfare and happiness of her offspring.
Researchers have recently discovered the
oxytocin hormone release link between service and euphoria.
Oxytocin is known to be released from the brain in females when nurturing their child, during sex, and is also induced through social stimuli for both genders, according to a report found in USA TODAY, Dec. 2007 (link:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-12-17-generosity-hormone_N.htm)
SERVING: Not unlike the rush of a runner’s high, when serving those who cannot serve themselves, immense feelings of compassion produce a satisfying warmth, and the world just feels right. I have tested this many times over thirty-five years and guarantee, though service may be inconvenient at times, it produces a “happy” feeling and state of being.
Wow—so before science, why did I engage in altruistic, service, non-monetary rewarded, opportunities? Meaning is the answer. Attaching a high priority and meaning to certain compartments of my life including; work, family, love, character, use of financial resources, health… it all comes back to one like a boomerang. And "happiness" is the instantaneous emotion, just like the feeling I have had at working for two years with zero income.
I won't lie. Working on pure belief without promise of financial reward has its miserable moments and serious doubting from time to time. My choices have been limited to some degree. But... my happiness is not caused by funds, but the "fun" found in the creative arts that hold so much "meaning" for me. (In spite of my temporary lapses from "reality" of earning mucho dinero to that of dreaming of greater things, my wife still loves and trusts me... Thank heavens.)
SEX & Happiness -- The world is drowning in its promotion: Soooo, when it is love making, and not love taking: Talking about “love making”and oxytocin, the "sex hormone"— My opinion: If you really really want to be happy during sexual intimacy make sure you love that person. REAL love is tied to deep meanings about the value of the other person and serving their needs. That's why the contract of marriage may strengthen intimacy, and why intimacy may strengthen marriage. There is a contract, an agreement to serve each other. Sex is either just physical romping around without response – ability, (taking) or the pleasure-filled union that two committed “givers” have for each other (making.) Sex may be pleasurable, but empty. Or it may be pleasurable and FULL-feeling. Loving, in a selfless way, makes the sex better and cup of love filled. Just thought you’d like to know my take on what society seems to make the biggest, most talked about, joked of, imagined, maligned, and referred to topic of our time.
Want more happiness? Find “meaning” in every area of your life. Don't hold back. Go for it!
PS: Free book offer still available at the end of the Christmas post.
